Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Out of the Mouths of Geniuses

And now for a little wisdom from the omniscient Dictator-for-Life Calvin, stuck as a misunderstood genius in a first-grade world.

Fine print: These quotes have no bearing on my present mental or psychological state of being. Really. And they should have no bearing on your mental or psychological state, either. However, were you to read, comprehend, understand, and/or draw parallels between your personal and/or academic and/or work and/or social life and these quotes (see below) the following side effects may and probably will occur: laughing, LOLing, ROTFLing, chuckles, giggles, grins, rolling of the eyes, shaking of the head, slapping of the forehead, frantic emails to me, frantic emails from me, distraction from daily duties - including momentary, temporary, and permanent distractions - immediate urge to contact and share quotes with others, immediate urge to look up quotes, immediate urge to look up new quotes and/or share with others, random quoting of C&H - lasting anywhere from September to March - and the very possible irritation of others around you. Please consider your environment and spread as much C&H as possible.

Enjoy. I do.

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"I'm just very selective about the reality I choose to accept." -- Calvin
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"I have plenty of common sense, I just choose to ignore it." -- Calvin
*
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in
the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -- Calvin
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The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and
inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and
impenetrable fog!" -- Calvin
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"The only skills I have the patience to learn are those that have no real
application in life." -- Calvin
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"Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?" -- Calvin
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"Is it a right to remain ignorant?" -- Calvin
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"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely
pointless." -- Calvin
*
"Thank you. before I begin, I'd like everyone to notice that my report is in
a professional, clear plastic binder...When a report looks this good, you know
it'll get an A. That's a tip kids. Write it down." -- Calvin
*
Calvin : "I think we have got enough information now, don't you?"
Hobbes : "All we have is one 'fact' that you made up."
Calvin : "That's plenty. By the time we add an introduction, a few
illustrations and a conclusion, it'll look like a graduate thesis."
*
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." -- Calvin

3 comments:

  1. An inch of snowfall is like winning 10 cents from the lottery...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you, thank you, thank you! You have officially made my day!

    ReplyDelete
  3. ...You know, rumor has it, that the Seminary in Winona has the entire Calvin and Hobbes collection :D

    ReplyDelete